Sunday, October 19, 2008

Well...shit.

WARNING: SIGNIFICANT AMOUNTS OF UNREPENTANT SWEARING AHEAD!

I apologize - I know I've been a shitty blogger lately. It's just with trying to find a new job and all, I've been a little distracted.

Then my dad goes and has a stroke to make things simpler. No, not of genius, just a stroke.

Fuck.

It could have been worse; relatively speaking it was a tiny one, confined to a very tiny spot in the brain, no bleeding, no physical imparement, probably (no, definately) brought on by his diabetes.

Unfortunately, the very tiny spot of his brain that it landed on was his short term memory. Was. As in, past tense. As in, it's  gone for now on a vacation of undetermined duration. Which means a number of terrible things:

1. He'll need 24/7 care lest he not take his medication, take too much medication (thinking he hadn't taken it yet), go for a walk and forget where he is, forget that he can't drive now and get behind the wheel, leave the stove on, etc.

2. I don't know how to get him this care that he'll need. My step-mom can't do it, she's been caring for her special-needs daughter for 50 years now and it hasn't gotten any easier in the last few months.

3. This is the hardest part for me: I don't know how many times I'm going to have to tell him what happend, and every time I do I know he's going to feel like shooting himself for becoming a burden.

The doctor said he should recover, but how long it will take is unknown. My stepmom and I plan on blasting him with as many alternative-medicine methods as we can find while they run more tests, but who knows...

If anyone has any advice, I'm all ears. I'm new to this - my Grandmother (Dad's mom)  lost her mind around 88-ish, but I was in another part of the state and didn't have to deal with the day-to-day things, like my dad did, like he knows (at least every time I tell him what happened) I'll have to now that this has occurred.

You just don't plan for this fucking shit. No one ever thinks, "yeah I'll get married, finish school, start my career, then right as I'm getting off the ground, I'll take care of my dad when he has a stroke that makes his memory fade to black every three minutes." 

I'm a pretty well-balanced person, so I'm feeling a large mix of well-balanced, kick you in the balls emotions and I don't much care for any of them. My father is a good man. He acts like a teenager and as a result is here in this position, but he is a good man. I love him and telling him what happened is getting more and more painful as he becomes more and more lucid. Who knows, maybe that's a good sign.

To all my readers: take care of your health. Please, for if not for your sake then for those who would watch you after something like this.

Wish me luck.

Fuck...

Shit...

4 comments:

Tony Gasbarro said...

And if I may add...

Take out Long Term Health Care insurance from a reputable provider so that if your health should take such a turn, the burden won't also be financial on those who are there to care for you. Or urge your loved ones for whom you may wind up caring to take it out before it's too late.

John said...

Good tip Farrago.

Kathy Rogers said...

Sorry to hear about dad. And all the crap that goes with it.

NucMEd is Hot said...

I have no suggestons.

I suck at this stuff.

Hope it gets better sonner thatn later.